five things. to stop wearing. unless you are 20.

Now that the weather is starting to feel [finally] somewhat summer-like, similarly are our wardrobe choices.  Whether you have the body of a 20 year old, or no, once you are ‘of a certain age’, some restraint should be exercised when putting together your warm weather outfits.  Unless you are indeed in your 20s, the following items should never, ever, ever, grace your figure, unless it is part of a costume and-not-for-any-other-occasion-than-it’s-Halloween, and even then……:

Belly shirts.  The crop top is making a comeback.  Again.  Even if you still have your original version from the 80s [and it still fits], put it back in the attic or wherever you keep your retro everything-old-becomes-new-again clothing collection.  Better yet, give it to your little sister or your niece.  The last time [decade] you wore it, was the last time it was appropriate to bare your belly, unless you are at the beach, in a bathing suit.

No bra.  Even if you are 20?  Wear a bra!  Unless you are Rihanna-making-fashion-headlines-not-necessarily-in-a-good-way, or you are a professional topless dancer [even so, if you are over 30, you should probably be thinking about retirement or a career change by now], no one in-an-appropriate-way wants to see what’s under that shirt.

Short shorts.  If your ass-crease is visible, and you don’t work at Hooters?  The short is too short.  Unless you are trying to sell something that’s illegal in most places, keep the short length respectable.  Mid-thigh is probably the shortest length one should go beyond the age of 30.

Micro-mini skirts.  See above.  No pun intended.

Fluorescent makeup and/or hair-colours.  Day-Glo makeup and hair-colours probably should have stayed in the punk-era-80s where they [did they even then?] belong.  But, freedom of expression is never more prevalent than it is today.  All the power to you…..unless you are over 30, that is.

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