Fourteen things. To look forward to in 2014, because 2014 things would take too long. And, I don’t even think that an optimist [not me] could point out that many.
1. Self improvement. Say goodbye to the self loathsome holiday overindulgent binge eating at friends and family gatherings. The parties are all over.
2. Organization. Free your home of needle dropping, dehydrated Christmas trees, rogue static charged tinsel decorations and overstayed their welcome house guests.
3. De-stress. No longer need to worry over what outfit to wear, or what clothes will still fit after extensive holiday eating, to that New Year’s Eve party.
4. No more regrets. For going to a New Year’s Eve extravaganza and realizing that you would have had a better time if you had just stayed home.
5. Get some rest. Don’t feel guilty for sleeping in. You’ve had a long and eventful holiday season. All that eating, drinking, decorating, entertaining and pretending to be happy about it, is hard work.
6. Cut back on your alcohol consumption. The party circuit has quietened down, so you can just stick to your usual closet drinking routine, safe in the confines of your own home.
7. Eat more vegetables. That is all that’s left in the fridge now anyway. We ate all the good stuff at Christmas.
8. Stop spending money on things you don’t need. This is easy, you don’t have any left after buying Christmas presents, party clothes, decadent food and booze.
9. Spend quality time with friends. You don’t have any money left, so really, what is there left to do?
10. Read that book you have been meaning to. There isn’t anything good on television from early December until around March anyway.
11. Start a book club with your girlfriends. Not only will you sound intellectual to outsiders, but club meetings are really just a clever guise for binge eating like it’s still Christmas and drinking like it’s still New Year’s Eve. Reading the book selections are purely optional.
12. Be kind to strangers. And if you aren’t, who would be the wiser, they don’t know who you are.
13. Try to get rid of one thing you don’t need every day. Yes, eating one of those fruit cream filled chocolates, the ones that no one else wants, once daily from all the cheap boxes you received at Christmas does count.
14. Laugh. Just that. Even if it has nothing to do with what I have written above, or written at all. A sense of humor is our greatest defense against all ills and perils.
Wishing you health, happiness, success and much laughter in 2014.